beauty is pain

rapping with KPoP demon hunters

excited for puberty

Dancing Dude

You are a dancing marvel! During garba, all eyes are on you! you dance with so much energy and make your own steps. And you dance even when no one is dancing! I am happy that you have the courage to stand out from the crowd while also being nice enough to have friends and follow their rules. 

Aai, aai bagh

and then you tap me 4 times. on my arms, on my tummy, on my back, keep tapping till i look at you. and then in 3 seconds you have something else to show, and you start tapping again. It is SO irritating..amd also So cute. Soon you will be. alanky teen and maybe you will stop doing these childish things and i will miss that so much

Singer

 You have a God-gift with singing. Even as a baby, you used to sing such sweet tunes.

We got very lucky with Manasi, who has really groomed you well. 

You are a reluctant performer. You don't like to go on the stage, but you like the applause.

"I think I should give the chance to somebody else also" you tell me.

But you beamed when in the 6th standard, you made your first impression in the new school, when you sang "Nadaniyan" during a free period, and everybody started singing along with you.

You love it when they chant your name when the teacher says, "can anybody sing?"

And you are filled with pride when your friends ask you to sing 'that song' again and again. (Man Mandira-which makes me melt every time you sing it, your voice is like a ball of butter)

You have composed the tune for the assembly presentation, and it is amazing. You surprise me every time. I start wondering if I should even hold you to the same standards as other children?

Football

 I pushed back to Baba so much for his insistence that you start football. You had grown quite fat after the second lockdown, and i was worried that you will hurt while running or working out. But Baba insisted that the solution to every problem was that you should play a team sport. So i am taking to you to Football everyday. Some days, you came back tired from all the running, and some days, I saw you on the field, just standing in a corner, not trying to run at all. But Swapnil joined the class and there were selections for the next match. You did not get selected, but he was told that he was almost selected. That made you feel so bad, and you cried.

I gave you one of my lectures about not giving up and keep trying and you felt better.

It is almost 5 months since then. You are a lot leaner. You run fast. You make goals. You have triumphant matches. Kanv has joined you at the class. He is a good player and he respects your game. 

It is a pain to sit by the bhaji-mandi, smelling filth for an hour. But your jubilant smile after the games makes it worth it. 

 

Praise

 I am all worked up because you are not keeping up with the school work. I am lost in my own worries and making dabba for you. I use the black garlic mix with tomato to make a sauce for your pasta and think you are going to be disappointed because I " never make the simple tomato pasta" that you like and always make variations. As i am mulling, you tell me loudly, " Aai, chhan jhala ahe pasta". It is these simple words that make me calmer.

I can feel you trying to calm me, say words that make me feel better, which is performative, but i can see the effort.

Raising a child is hard as hell, and you make every moment worth it. Such a loving, beautiful, smart boy you are!